~ `` sEnbOnzAKuRa `` kUchiKi ByakUya Version 2

~*Friday, January 20, 2006*~

//Disillusioned

I dunno why but nowadays suddenly start to feel damn disillusioned. feel so no meaning in life. feel so sian that dis year is O levels liao. I feel so sian that after probably after chinese new year, time pracs and tons of homework will take effect. we will be feelin sibeh tired everydae....comin home very late. nt onli disillusioned, but damn scared. scared no time to rest, no time to play. everydae just zombiely do homework...yeah, im scared of that..

while now, being the slacker me. tmr whole sae burned cox goin trainin. i doubt i will haf mood to study on sun..n i burned today dunno fixin my blog n playin dota. wah sian. on the other hand, i still feel quite lame-d but everythin. if i dun put in effort, my o levels how? DIE Lor....either ways, i suffer. but which path shld i take. obviously the first one...obviously iz ez to sae, it's ez to choose the right path. but it's hard to follow.....

each day become meaningless. the days where i live for weekends, while i stagger thru the weekdays. these kinda life iz very meaningless. i dun even know what am i supposed to aim for? to be more pro in dota? suddenly i don't see the point. so what if you lose a BNET game? nah..pple call u n00b, u leave BNEt den go bac to ur original life. there's no point, the point is no!. so what if u're soo pro, dota carn earn u a living.....

afterall, studyin is what we r left to do. the most painful route. i suddenly feel the hype of badminton goin down this few days. my urges to play has gone down, though it's still there. waitin for mi to embrace it tmr. though pple r startin to plae badminton during recess. what crap r they playin wif that amount of wind..? with that long, stuffy pants? lik glenn said, it's nt realli playing badminton..it's like performin a show for every1 to watch...almost..

now sb dun let mi borrow his racket. i also dun know y. dun even know where i offended him. but haix. maybe his being sore....he let gx play. let wz play. i think if wp wan to plae he wun let also. maybe he let those he acknoledged to be proer den him play. but e problem is....no matter how mani times i win him, he feels bitter n lik very no satisfied. dunno how to explain....., but gx is pro, i cannot deny dat.. but sim is another level higher..

but after sim's level will be another level, of more pro pple. den another level. and probably 4-5 more levels before u can see natioanl standard pple...that is where we stand. bein semi-n00bs. well, i think we can plae liao. but we r at the bottom of e people who know how to plae. know as in know e basic stuff....., basics etc....but just aren't that gd at it yet....

Actually i dun even know why im posting this. cox after dis im goin to sleep. u see, why do i blog everydae? or more den once every dae? cox i lik bloggin. i lik typin. dat explains y i can spam fast, and effeciently. cox i train my fingers. i lik typing. typin for fun. actually i like writing EW also, cox i have lots to write. but problem is, i dun realli have e hand energy to keep writing for ages. typin...my hand does not feel anythin. i juz naturally transfer wadi m thinking into this screen. it's just too ez, convinient. too convinient dat i can blog so often.

finally tmr i dun haf to wake up early again. ahh finally the friday night happiness is here!.

ahhhhh i think im off to sleep!

Activated Seikei @ 10:23 PM

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