~ `` sEnbOnzAKuRa `` kUchiKi ByakUya Version 2

~*Sunday, February 12, 2006*~

//#164 ARGHHHHHH

sori din post ytd. damn! again my frequency goin down. yesterday earli in the mornin went CCK stadium. quite earli. wz tell mi 11:30, den i go dere. he nvr come. >_<, wtf. so i sat dere. waited and waited. then i was listenin to my hp's mp3 player. den listen n blow the air from e "aircon". then infront of mi the court got a group of ah lians. (nt realli? maybe 20+) playin. i dunno y they keep starin at mi. STADIUM THE STEPS DERE CANNOT SLEEP MEH?? thats wad i always do mah..

ok well. four courts got taken up by soccer. dunno wad versus wad. so me and jonathan (who came around 12:15) watch awhile. then so sian. lol...

so finally 12 then mr foo came. so we play abit doubles here n there. then singles. arghh i lost glenn becoz of the stupid shuttle then fly so fast. seriously....15-13. at first was lik 10-2 or somethin. then he reach match pnt. then i finally got the shuttle changed. then BANG i catch up to 13-14. >_< arghh then one more pnt can deuce liao den i go make stupid nettin mistake. ARGHHH so after that mr foo teach us backhand. LOL. lob wor. haha. i think he must be pissed wif mi doin my stunt. then he thinkin " aiya backhand also better den stunt ". so we trainin backhand lob then c wz can already hit almost there liao. mine still KANASAI.....

then after that half court singles. lol. then no time the book 3-4 the pple SO Kao PEI and irritating. i was winnin weiyang 5-0. (we plae 6 pnts nia). lol....>_< ALMOST win him Love Game leh...HAIX....i feel so sad lor. then wz lost glenn half court somemore.

so went home. did nth much.....then ard nine my hand itchy n went stadium again. dis time my coach n other boys playin (dis is my other coach btw). then he tell mi plae against bernard. who is a small boy. then i abit reluctent. cox i wearin quite long pants den cannot move fast. so i got owned lah. i didn't realli try. >_<. then he tell bernard go away then he play wif mi match.

OMG....
OWNED..15-0
his really STRONG, i onli managed to knock his service down 3 times.

so went home. den cudn't sleep. cox my body felt so warm n my concentration was still veri high. ARGHh >_< i keep tellin myself, " don't think about it"....."don't think about it", but i kip thinin of badminton. so lik dis....lik dis....i manage to sleep onli lik 1 o clock or 2.. ARGHH. i hate the feelin of carn sleep..

the match against my coach make mi feel dat im so lousy...

i wanna improve, i wanna chiong le.

i dunno suddenly i start to feel that dota is a useless game. dunno lah. after repeatly fightin creeps...and win or lose doesn't realli matter. it's just a matter of time where nobody plays it anymore. it's not even challenging. suddenly i feel as if "WTF cyber sports?", they r not even HALF as difficult as physical sports....whats the big hype about it then?

com feels so distance now. i use it to DL anime and watch only. com games feel so.....nonexistant. i plan to erase all of them from my life. and probably only play 6.30 a few games when it's released. aside from that, i regret all the lame hours spent on dota.., i felt as though i didn't achieve anything from it..

WTF. i rmb one conversation i had wif glenn. i said " don't u think play dota everyday very useless?", then he said " then u play badminton everyday very useful hor?? ".

WTF, badminton and dota cannot be compared. at the very least, tabletennis is even better than dota..., dota will vanish from the surface of this world within 2 yrs....while sports will remain at least till we die...so whats the pnt? why train so hard on somethin that will vanish in a couple of years...? i'd rather plae a sport that can last mi my whole life..

seriously, our clan's badminton dropouts. includes, wr, dex, wp, tj. for wr, dex, and wp, i believe it was partly my fault. because i created alot conflict among the clan by makin every1 rivals. at first, we all happy hittin the shuttle. after awhile, we were not happy that we were lousier then someone else.

me n wz decided to play harder. glenn n tj joined us. wp, wif his arrogant n puny brain he consoled himself that we was still stronger den us. thats when u let your guard down. now not only you do not have the 3 people who are significantly stronger, your standard makes it hard for us to play wif u..., then wr. who kept thinkin he was better then mi at that time, also dropped out. Seeing that everyone is soo far........, one will naturally feel depressed n don't bother to chase..., they're escapin it.

i believe no one hated badminton at the start. but they dread the amount of effort one has to put in to become strong. comparin myself wif wp, wr, dex, tj, im strong, im pro, but do u know how much i lust for power now? seein all the other pro guys in my new grp...., i realli wanna chase up till their standard....i realli wanna improve...., the inner fire within mi is burning..

at least do somethin serious. better than WASTIN time cyclin from place to place, rottin away, singin songs every dae in some lame cca.....better than....spendin time on dota every weekend....,thats your life and i don't wan my life to be degraded to that form..

let me reemphasize. cyclin is a waste of time as a sport. u do get the thrill, it's healthy. it's fun. but not when you do it everyday. cyclin is a good sport, but not somethin u can do EVERYDAY..
or at least whenever you are free..

i already gif up provin to the school that im proer than everyone else playin in the courtyard. i realli gif up provin that sim, wz, gx, glenn and me are the 5 most proest in our school.

well...why? becoz they don't see it. even if we do fancyful double action.....even if we can master all the stunts.even if we THRASH them, they still don't acknowledge that we're proer than them. Sec 3s, soon beng's gang. irritatin lik hell. nvm, let them dominate. we had our FAIR share of dominatin when we're sec 3s..., i've decided to let them be. let them plae their HALF COURT lobbin...., yeah, from my tone, u shld see im pissed. but i refuse to do anything about it.

i dunno why but nowadays even wz's movement seem slow when i see. i see holes in his play. i feel as though i know how to win him. even though he REFUSES to play match each time. marvin seems so easy to dominate when i won him in half court singles. last time, i was strugglin not to make mistakes. and only when i did that, i wud haf win him. now, i feel as though im playin wif a toy. wei yang, also felt so easy. i didn't realli try hard. i was simply doin my strokes n easily 5-0 him in half court. izzit the half court factor? or do i actually hate full court..?

ahhhh. im feelin confused wif what im typing....

Activated Seikei @ 11:34 AM

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